I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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