Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
