I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Two words: blizzard sex
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize