so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just had sex on a roof
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
