I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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