Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
