cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
why do cheetos always look like penises
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
