They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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