Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
