Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
