If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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