Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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