ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
The air taste purple.
Randomize
