i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
