We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
