i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
