Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
