dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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