yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
