In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
