He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
