are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just want nice things and good sex
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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