And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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