I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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