Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
