My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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