i'm lost and i look like a hooker
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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