Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
