let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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