I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
