The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize