i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
