An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
love makes seman taste better
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
