new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
