hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
