The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
