i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
