So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
