White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he puts the penis in happiness.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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