okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize