Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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