It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
