Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
