he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
