If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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