Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize