I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize