Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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