This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
