i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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