The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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