Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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