NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
