I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
