I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
