so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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