the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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