Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
