Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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