Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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