Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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