I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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