We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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