Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
