You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
