we're blogging at a bar
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
