Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize